The Speech on Religion that nobody will give!
Homer explains that his practical Plan B for personal salvation, a version of Pascal’s wager, is to “pray like hell when I’m on my deathbed.”
It's the speech that nobody will give, but everybody believes in
Spyglass
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"What if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!" --Homer Simpson
"Mel Brooks is Jewish!?!" --Homer Simpson, after Lisa lists the many Jews in show business
"It's a good thing Buddha teaches freedom from desire, because I've got the desire to kick your ass." --Richard Gere
"It's all Christianity, people. The little, stupid differences are nothing next to the big, stupid similarities." --Bart Simpson
"I may not know that much about God, but I have to say we built an awfully nice cage for him." --Homer Simpson, after motivating islanders to build a church
"I'm sure God will let us return soon. How long can he hold a grudge?" --Marge Simpson, in her dream where she is Eve
"There's no way in God's heaven that I can get into God's heaven. But maybe he'll let me in if I warn others that the apocalypse is coming." --Homer Simpson, wearing a sandwich board and ringing a bell through the streets of Springfield
Bart: "What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?" Milhouse: "Oh, [your soul] can swim. It's even got wheels in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
"From now on, I'll pray till my hands are chapped and bleeding." --Homer Simpson, after finding his remote under the sofa
"Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middlemen who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined guys over at the slaughterhouse." --Ned Flanders, when he is saying grace
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