New Utah Census Form

*New Utah Census Form*
**1. _____________________ (Given name)
**2. _____________________ (SURNAME)

**3. Descendant of:
**A. Brigham Young _____
**B. Heber C. Kimball _____
**C. Laman and Lemuel _____
**D. Cain _____

**4. Tribe of Israel: _____________________

**5. Number of occupants residing in home in each category: (Listed inchronological order)
**A. Nursery _____
**B. Junior Primary _____
**C. Senior Primary _____
**D. Young Women's _____
**E. Young Men's _____
**F. Relief Society _____
**G. Elder _____
**H. Dearly Departed _____
**I. High Priest _____

**6. Occupation [Please select all that apply.]:
**A. Amway dealer _____
**B. Shaklee dealer _____
**C. Nonie juice dealer _____
**D. NuSkin dealer _____
**E. Melaleuca dealer _____

**7. Automobile:
**A. Station Wagon _____
**B. Van _____
**C. Suburban _____
**D. School Bus _____
**E. Double Decker _____

**8. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday:
**A. Chuck-A-Rama _____
**B. Hometown Buffet _____
**C. Sumo Sam's All You Can Eat Feeding Trough _____

**9. Favorite Hero:
**A. Nephi _____
**B. Abinadi _____
**C. Samuel the Lamanite_____
**D. Steve Young _____
**E. Johnny Lingo _____

**10. Which of the following do you bring to church [check all that apply.]:
**A. Scriptures _____
**B. Franklin Planner/ Daytimer _____
**C. Pen/Pencil _____
**D. Lifesavers/ Cheerios _____
**E. Tic Tacs _____
**F. Game Boy _____
**G. Big Gulp _____
**H. Cooler _____
**I. Sony Walkman _____
**J. TV Watch _____
**K. All of the above _____

**11. Do you prepare your church lessons:
**A. A month in advance _____
**B. A week in advance _____
**C. While in the bathtub _____
**D. While on the toilet _____
**E. During Sacrament Meeting _____
**F. During the closing prayer of Sacrament Meeting
**G. During the opening prayer of the class you're teaching _____
**H. Just wing it [according to the promptings of the Spirit] _____

**12. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with Big Gulpholders?: yes___ no ___
**13. How many years has your family sat in the same place for SacramentMeeting:
**A. 10-20 years _____
**B. 20-30 years _____
**C. 30-40 years _____
**D. Over 3 generations _____

**14. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a high counciltalk:
**A. 1/100,000,000th of a second _____
**B. 1/999,999,999th of a second _____
**C. 1/999,999,998th of a second _____

**15. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching:
**A. 31st ______
**B. 31st ______
**C. 31st ______
**D. 31st ______

**16. How many church basketball fights were you in last year:
**A. 1-10 _____
**B. 10-20 _____
**C. 20-30 _____
**D. You'll have to ask my lawyer _____

**17. Which of the following has been your most effective Family HomeEvening:
**A. Arguing about getting along
**B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner
**C. Gathering around the television to watch, "Everybody Loves Raymond?"

**18. How many times a year do you make:
**A. Green Jell-O salad _____
**B. Funeral potatoes _____
**C. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad _____
**D. Turkey, cashews and grape-stuffed croissants_____

**19. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own:
**A. 1-2 thousand _____
**B. 2-3 thousand _____
**C. 3-4 thousand _____
**D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____

**20. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in thenation:
**A. Alcatraz
**B. Fort Knox
**C. Ward Libraries

**21. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you'll winthe pinewood derby: _________

**22. Keeping the Word of Wisdom in mind, how much of the following do youconsume:
**A. Chocolate:___pounds daily X 365 days annually =3D ____
**B. Cola: ____gallons daily X 365 days annually =3D ____

**23. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attendinga BYU/UofU football game, which would you choose?
**A. Second Coming _____
**B. Football game _____
**AMEN!*